Episode Summary
We all crave connection, but forming new friendships and nurturing old ones isn't always simple: Nerves, stress, busyness and shyness can get in the way. Laura Tremaine, author of "The Life Council," and psychiatrist Dr. Judith Engelman share ways to recognize and value the friends in our life — and, if needed, make a few more.
Episode Notes
We talked with:
- Laura Tremaine is an author, podcaster and influencer. She launched the "10 Things To Tell You" podcast, a show born from her realization that sharing herself online and in person pulled her out of a long season of loneliness. From the "10 Things To Tell You" podcast came her first book "Share Your Stuff. I'll Go First: 10 Questions to Take Your Friendships to the Next Level." Her second book released in 2023 and is titled "The Life Council: 10 Friends Every Woman Needs."
- Judith Engelman, M.D., is a board-certified psychiatrist who has practiced in Phoenix and Scottsdale for 40 years. Based on her vast experience in running therapy and support groups, Dr. Engelman was asked to collaborate in developing and facilitating the "Authentic Connections" groups in a research study with Mayo Scottsdale Department of Psychiatry and Arizona State University Department of Psychology. Blending her interests in individual, group and family therapy, psychopharmacology, yoga and spirituality, Dr. Engelman has always advocated for an integrative approach to healing.
We talked about:
In this episode, Dr. Millstine and her guests discuss:
- Friendship is an action. Friendship means showing up and supporting the ones you love. So if communication doesn't come naturally to you, you may want to add friendship tasks (checking in, phone calls, texts) to your to-do list. To some, that may seem like you're making friendship a chore, but it's an actionable way to make your friends a priority.
- Friendships have a spectrum of intimacy. Not every friendship has to be the soul-baring kind. Laura wants to highlight the value of relationships with co-workers, fellow soccer moms or online friends obsessed with the same TV show as you. One person can't fulfill every friendship need: Maybe you need one fun friend, a friend who brings you soup when you're sick and another friend with kids the same age.
- How do we make new friends? Though we often think of making new friends as an exhausting burden, Laura encourages us to see it for the exciting prospect it is: Finding someone who likes the most current version of you. And she encourages us to chill out a bit — aim for one good conversation with each outing. That's enough!
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- Purchase "The Life Council."
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