Skip to Main Content

Read. Talk. Grow. Podcast: 47. Coping with grief and unanswerable questions after suicide

A podcast where we talk about books — especially fiction, memoir and narrative nonfiction — that deal with important health topics.

47. Coping with grief and unanswerable questions after suicide

Episode Summary

When someone dies by suicide, their loved ones are often left asking questions like “How could this have happened?” The protagonist in Onyi Nwabineli’s debut novel “Someday, Maybe,” wrestles with these questions after the untimely death of husband. Onyi and Mayo Clinic psychologist Dr. Craig Sawchuk discuss processing grief, loss and guilt – and the importance of showing up and supporting those who are grieving. This episode was made possible by the generous support of Ken Stevens. 

Episode Notes

For immediate help

If you're feeling overwhelmed by thoughts of not wanting to live or you're having urges to attempt suicide, get help now.

  • Call a suicide hotline.
    • In the U.S., call or text 988 to reach the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline, available 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. Or use the Lifeline Chat at 988lifeline.org/chat/. Services are free and confidential.
    • If you’re a U.S. veteran or service member in crisis, call 988 and then press 1, or text 838255. Or chat using veteranscrisisline.net/get-help-now/chat/.
    • The Suicide & Crisis Lifeline in the U.S. has a Spanish language phone line at 1-888-628-9454.
  • Call 911 in the U.S. or your local emergency number immediately.

We talked with:

  • Onyi Nwabineli is a Nigerian British head-wrap aficionado. Born in Benin, Nigeria, she grew up in Glasgow, the Isle of Man and Newcastle, and now lives in London. Onyi is the cofounder of Surviving Out Loud, a fund that provides fiscal support for survivors of sexual assault, and the founder of Black Pens (black-pens.com), a writing retreat for Black womxn. Someday, Maybe is her debut novel.
  • Craig Sawchuk, Ph.D., L.P., is a psychologist and the chair of the Division of Integrated Behavioral Health within the Department of Psychiatry & Psychology at Mayo Clinic in Rochester, Minnesota. He is also the co-chair for Clinical Practice in the department and a professor of psychology at Mayo Clinic College of Medicine and Science. His research aims to improve the treatment of anxiety and depression in primary care.

We talked about:

Purchase “Someday Maybe.”

More resources:

Got feedback?

  • If you've got ideas or book suggestions, email us at readtalkgrow@mayo.edu.
  • We invite you to complete the following survey as part of a research study at Mayo Clinic. Your responses are anonymous. Your participation in this survey as well as its completion are voluntary.

Disclaimer

The podcast is for informational purposes only and is not designed to replace the physician’s medical assessment and judgment. Information presented is not intended as medical advice. Please contact a healthcare professional medical assistance with specific questions pertaining to your own health if needed.