Read. Talk. Grow. Podcast: 7. Breaking the silence surrounding miscarriage

Episode Summary

If you haven't experienced a miscarriage yourself, you almost certainly know someone who has. Yet we don't talk about it much as a society. In this episode, host Dr. Denise Millstine talks with Jackie Polzin about her novel "Brood" and with Dr. Kate White, author of "Your Guide to Miscarriage and Pregnancy Loss." They tackle the topics of isolation and guilt and the often-slow process of grief after pregnancy loss.

Episode Notes

We talked with:

• Jackie Polzin lives in West St. Paul, Minnesota, with her husband and two children. Her first novel, "Brood," won the Sue Kaufman First Fiction Prize and the L.A. Times Art Seidenbaum Award for First Fiction, and was shortlisted for the Center for Fiction First Novel Prize. Her writing has appeared in O, The Oprah Magazine, Literary Hub and The Idaho Review.
• Kate White, M.D., M.P.H., is an associate professor of obstetrics and gynecology at the Boston University School of Medicine and the vice chair of academics in the OB-GYN department at Boston Medical Center. A board-certified OB-GYN, Dr. Kate has been caring for women for more than 20 years, helping them navigate periods, childbirth, pregnancy loss and every other stage leading up to menopause. She's the author of the Mayo Clinic Press books "Your Sexual Health" and "Your Guide to Miscarriage and Pregnancy Loss."

We talked about:

• Silence. Though miscarriage is incredibly common, we don't talk about it much as a society. Sometimes people don't talk about miscarriage because they don't want to make others uncomfortable. Sometimes friends and family are afraid of saying the wrong thing. This makes grief lonely and means many people don't get the support they need.
• Slowness. Trying to rush through grief and "get it over with" probably won't work. Dr. Kate and Jackie talk about sitting with the loss, as well as how to remember and honor their losses — plus, how you can support someone who has experienced a loss.
• Guilt. Many people who experience a miscarriage need to know: It's not your fault. Dr. Kate wants you to know that there's no place for guilt — and it makes grief worse.

Can't get enough?

• Purchase Kate's books, "Your Sexual Health" or "Your Guide to Miscarriage and Pregnancy Loss."
• Purchase Jackie's book "Brood."
  • From Bookshop.org
  • From Amazon
  • From Barnes & Noble  
• Other books on miscarriage mentioned in this episode include:
  • "Dept. of Speculation" by Jenny Offill 
  • "Swimming Back to Trout River" by Linda Rui Feng. 
  • "Motherhood" by Shelia Heti 
  • "The White Book" by Han Kang
  • "I Had a Miscarriage" by Jessica Zucker
  • "An Exact Replica Of A Figment Of My Imagination" by Elizabeth McCracken
• Want to read more on the topic? Check out our blog:
  • What does — and doesn’t — cause a miscarriage
  • After miscarriage: How to tell your child about pregnancy loss
  • How to handle 5 common concerns after a miscarriage

Got feedback?

• If you've got ideas or book suggestions, email us at readtalkgrow@mayo.edu. 
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The podcast is for informational purposes only and is not designed to replace the physician’s medical assessment and judgment. Information presented is not intended as medical advice. Please contact a healthcare professional medical assistance with specific questions pertaining to your own health if needed.